Trying to Conceive

Being a 27-year-old and a millennial living in the age of the internet at my fingertips and access to unlimited social media, trying to conceive could be pretty overwhelming. When my husband and I decided that we were finally ready to get pregnant I dove head first into looking at every single website article, blog and YouTube video by different women who were going through the process of trying to conceive, TTC. 

I had been on birth control for about 9 years so I quit taking my pill a few months before us deciding to start TTC. After the countless Youtube binges listening to so many women’s different stories on how they could or couldn’t get pregnant, I realized the secret formula to trying to conceive, was that there is no formula. I was going to have to trust that God was going to make the best decision for if and when I would get pregnant. 

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One of the things I did do that helped me feel like I had some control over something that was completely out of my control was purchase a huge box of ovulation test strips and pregnancy test strips from Amazon . After watching so many YouTube videos of girls obsessing about testing and just being a pee stick addict you kind of just think that you’re not going to be that crazy one but as soon as you start the TTC journey, your perspective on peeing on a stick changes. I can’t count how many pee sticks I used just tracking my ovulation. It was definitely crazy making!

But, luckily on our second month of trying we found out we were pregnant.

The internet gave me advice that I do believe helped me conceive faster, such as how to accurately test my ovulation. But, it also caused for a lot of extra stress that I probably didn’t need. It became very easy to obsess over getting pregnant and being jealous of women who were already pregnant or got pregnant their first month of TTC. At times I wonder what it would be like trying to conceive back before we had such easy access to super affordable testing products like ovulation strips and pregnancy tests and just waiting to find out when I was pregnant by a missed my period. But, at the same time as a young mom who grew up having easy access to the internet, I can appreciate the resource that it is.We were on Maui in Kihei staying in a condo and I had secretly brought a stack of pregnancy tests not wanting to get my hopes up by telling my husband that I was in my two week wait window. On our second morning there I was waking up quite early around 5:00 a.m., because of the time change and I took a test. I told myself it would be negative and went to the condo’s kitchen to put coffee on. When I came back, I picked up the test and there was the faintest line. And if you know anything about pregnancy tests, a line is a line no matter how faint. I came running out of the bathroom screaming, “I see a faint line!”. My husband had no idea what I was talking about, but was very excited once I explained myself.

Trying to conceive was a journey that came with all of the emotions: excitement, anxiousness, stress, worry, doubt, and love. Trying to conceive and pregnancy is why I’m here today, writing to you as a trying mama. Having my son has changed my entire world and I’m thankful for him and this experience every day.