My son has decided that his favorite place to bare down is in the car seat. He saves his poop up to be released like a hot burrito falling from a ten-story building and splattering refried beans on everything nearby, for the second we are at least 7 minutes down the road. And for this reason, I have become well versed in the full-body clean up that is required after a blowout and have learned some lessons along the way:
DON’T wait until you get to your destination to deal with the mess. I have done this and it gives the poo a chance to seep out and up the sides of the diaper even more than it already has.
I pull over almost immediately after hearing my son make his audible grunts upon release. First, I set up my changing station on the backseat of my Scion XB. I lay down his changing mat, grab a clean diaper, pull at least five wipes out to have on the ready, open up two plastic baggies, one for the diaper and wipes and the other for his soiled clothes, and I grab a fresh and clean outfit.
Buy doggie bags NOT diaper bags. I only say this because doggie bags are almost 6X cheaper and they do the exact same thing. For example, these doggie bags on Amazon cost you just under $20 for 900 baggies, making them 2.2 cents/bag. And these bags designed specifically to hold your dirty diapers cost $9 for 72 bags, making them a whopping 12.5 cents/bag. Sure, the diaper bags specifically designed to hold your baby’s poo come in fun colors and are scented, but does that really make that much of a difference? My opinion could be totally different than yours and that’s ok. I have used both types of bags and the diaper bags are nicer, but to me, the cost savings makes this a no-brainer to go the doggie bag route.
<So, back to changing my messy little man. I have his make-shift changing station set up and only then do I take him out of this car seat. I hold him under his armpits, as to not squish the contents of his diaper up his back further, and transfer him onto the mat. And here is lesson 3 that I have learned at this point:
Give a toy to the little one while changing them to distract those wandering, wild hands from swinging down into their mess. I have also learned this lesson the hard way and had to deal with scrubbing my boy’s hands clean with baby wipes rapidly before he can spread the poo even further.
From here, I undress my son, always pulling the onesie down over the shoulders and never over the head. In comes lesson 4:
Use the of the top of the car as a place to put dirty clothes, diapers and wipes until the very end. I swing the poopy clothes on top of my car so as to not waste time in trying to bag them up as my baby wriggles around on the changing mat. From this point, I am dealing with a naked, diapered baby and I clean the poop up that has escaped, as much as possible, before opening the diaper. Again, throw all the used wipes on top of the car. Popping open the diaper comes next and is always terrifying, but getting in there quickly is key. Clean them up as you would and get a fresh diaper on there ASAP!
Next, I get my baby bundled up in some clean clothes and pop him back into his car seat while I finish taking care of the aftermath.
I use the doggie bags to put my hand in, grab all the soiled clothing and flip the bag over the nasty items and tie it up into a neat package to be taken home and cleaned. Next, I do the same for the dirty wipes and diapers, but BEFORE tying the bag off, I wipe the top of my car off, because there is poop up there 100% of the time after these ordeals.
The last lesson I learned came when trying to wash the poop off of his clothes.
Don’t be lazy and put off cleaning the clothes when you get back home. Doing this has only made my life more difficult later on. Upon the arrival at the house, I grab the bag of dirty clothes, pop open the Dutch-oven of a doggie bag and drop the clothes into my bathtub, where I use the shower head to pressure wash the chunks down the drain. From there, they give a nice dose of Spray ‘n Wash (the holy grail of stain removers) and throw the clothes into the washing machine.
Recently, I was in the drive-thru at my favorite local coffee stand when I could smell what was going on. I knew I would have a good few minutes before needing to pull forward and thought I could tackle the diaper while waiting. Through my frantic cleanup using the steps listed above, I had my baby fresh and back in his car seat just in the knick of time to pull forward and give my coffee order. The barista then informed me that the couple in front of me saw what was going on and wanted to make my day a little better, so they had purchased my drink. They had told the barista they remembered those days and knew the feeling. This really did make my day and now makes me smile to think about this when I’m roadside dealing with a blowout, every time.